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November 2, 2008
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You know when people say that dogs are a mans best friend, i didnt beleive that for so long, i've come into the ownership/care of 2 dogs over my life time.

The first's name was charlie, a nice king charles spaniel, crafty and quite dumb at times but he was nice, memories of him are distant and faded, reason being is because we got our new dog a few months after charlie was run over a car.
One memory that stands out of him was when i found him dead on the side of the road, with apologetic drivers standing over him, I picked him up without words and carried him home, the first place i could think of.
I met my sister on the short walk home, wasnt far, just around the corner.
I remember the look on my sisters face then, she looked happy that i found him... for a split second, what came then was a look i was used to seeing in warzones on a tv, one of sadness and loss.
We got him to the vet as soon as possible, fully aware that he was dead. But that
slight glimmer of hope that existed in my childish mind wouldnt cease.
I waited all day for my father to come home with that dog, I got fed up of waiting so i just called his mobile to see what was going on.
No details given.
Eventually my father came home and i dont remember missing the dog after that.

Soon after we bought a new dog, we named it sophie.
Niamh was her original name, given to her by the daughter of the owners that were selling her.
Sophie has been with be for near 11 years now, 6 of which were quite unhappy but she was always there to hog the attention.
I always thought she was a dumb dog, however in her later years her craftiness became apparent.
We took such good care of her all the time, at times not enough attention.... but the love was there none the less.
She made a groove on the kitchen couch where she would sit and watch as we walked by, it was a strateigic spot, it was the most frequently used room in the house, along with a nice food supply she was set for life.
Whenever she needed to goto the toilet she would go to the rooms least used in the past few days and pee there, we would know she has done something when she would try to stay away from you unless there was profit in it for her.

11 great years.

Every day without fail, sophie would be happy cheery and willing to greet no matter what, sick or otherwise she was always there to visit and be as energetic as when we first got her. I took the role of her guardian, her protector n whatnot.
Now i look to the future, without her.
We are moving hosue soon and she has lost her vision and is ofcourse pretty damn old, i couldnt agree to that at first, but now i cant think of anything better for her.
The past few days have not been good for her, i take a look at her closely and see a very distressed dog with a lack of love for life.
Where have i gone wrong?, i thought she was going to be happy in her final days but now she is going down hard.
I fear she will die without any help from the vet.
Mabey its for the best but all i can think of now is putting her out of her misery just to stop the torment she seems to be going through with my doing nothing else but watching, unable to think of a thing to help.

We are going away and we are leaving our past items/ lives behind us in a sense.
Leaving an old senile being behind with new things to look to.
Is that what will happen to me when im older?
Wrote this a few months ago.
My dog fell very ill before we were to move house, she was blind and we had planned to put her down because would have been cruel to move her i guess :/
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